Another lonely night..

So here we are again. Just me, and my bottle. Alone. In the dark.

I cannot seem to find the reason for my misery. I can't blame it on someone else, cause that just aint right. There's gotta be something I do to make it always fall apart.
I'm sure there's a somewhat contribution by the other part as well, but I still think the main reason for my misery is myself.

Though this time, I think I didn't have any influence on the outcome of it. She stood me up. I thought I could trust her to take care of me, but what the hell, who am I to think such a thing. Why would this be any different from before?
...it aint...

What could I have different? What changes could have been made, for it not to get this outcome?
I don't know. And I sense this becoming a crap post, with no meaning whatsoever. I'm too drunk to find the right words, I'm too drunk to see what's ahead of me. I just want to lay down, and never rise again. Forever to live in my own darkness and misery.

I feel lonely. Depressed. I need to go die someplace...