song of the day.

Poem I came over, surfing the internet

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember those simple things
I remember 'till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget
is goodbye.

Song of the day.

I wish for a better day.

I really have no ide of how to continue.
The second coming of Jesus seems to have a better chance of happening, rather than me having a somewhat decent life.

The only things I look forward to, seems to always be crushed, like an ant under a boot.

There's nothing in my life - I really, really like. I live in the hope of another good moment, in the dream of a better life, if I just hang on a bit longer.
I've hung on for a long time now. It's getting too much for me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.

Am I going to live on, seeking that one moment, where everything changes to something better?
I think not.
Am I going to give up?
Maybe. For the time being, it's a good chance that's the choice I'll make.
Am I going to pray? No. I don't believe there's a God. Or multiple for all that matters. I don't thin someone would let someone feel like this, without giving a sign that things 'll work out in the end.

I've had no signs, whatsoever. There's been nothing to make me think that my life isn't peaked. I'm starting to think it is. I've had my moment in the sun. Now it's time for me to go away.

I'm afraid. Afraid of being alone the rest of my life. Yes, I might get friends at some point. But when? Will I ever be someone, someone can love? Will that someone ever show up, or will she stand forward, only when it's too late?


Time is running out, dear, please, save me!

You're the reason

Because of you, I've been able to live for another month.
Things seemed too good to be true, and they were.

Now, I'm back to the same emtyness, the darkness, the same old thoughts.
The same old road.

I've had a smile on, for the past two weeks, but now it all seems to have been in vain.
All the happy thoughts, I for once had, seems to not even matter, at least it doesn't show.
Never before have I met someone like you. You really catched my attention.

I really did like you. I really did care for you. I really wanted to see you. Hold you. Be there for you.
I know I cannot do all those things anymore. You've got your own stuff, and appereantly I've got enough trying to keep myself on my own two feet.

Is there really nothing I can do? If there's any way, in a million to one chance, tell me, I will give it one last shot !


Maybe I should stop looking forward to stuff. They never seem to happen anyway.
Maybe I should stop starting to care for people. They always betray me anyway.
Maybe I should stop looking out for too many people. It's a neverending job anyway.


< / 3 ...I'm so sorry, love

Without you.

I'm lost. In the wilderness of something I never knew.

I can't see ahead, there's nothing to look back at. I'm walking in a circle. I see old footsteps appear.
I'm on the same path as before. At what right did I go left? I keep walking, but there's never an end. I'll never reach the goal. Others are passing by me. I'm stuck here. I hope you all enjoy your bright future! I don't know what I'm walking towards. I have no idea whats up ahead. Maybe there's light? Perhaps not.

The ocean is heard, far away. The waves crashing on the beach - much like my thoughts crash in my head. There's never an end - they'll forever keep coming. I'll never recover. All that has happened, will forever be stuck in me. There hasn't till now been one day I haven't cried. Maybe not in tears, but inside.

Maybe I'm not made for this earth? Do we all have a predecided faith? Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Or is it all random?
I believe it's a somewhat combination of both. Some things, like when we're born, when and how we die, that special someone, how and when we meet, things of that nature is decided by faith, but that you can change the future - with random things happening.
Other things, like if I'm going to eat that hamburger tomorrow, and decided by me.
Or do I decide my own faith? Do I change my future by grabbing a smoke now, instead of in 10 minutes? Is that all it takes?
Maybe it's all a decided sequence of moments, bound to happen. One by one, in the right order. How do I skip to the next moment? Please give me a >>| button!

What if X did Y, at 15:48. If X did Y at 15:39, would Z be Q? (the letter X represent a person, and Y, Z and Q represent actions or feelings - whatever makes sense to you.)



I want to sit down. I want to give up. There's nothing else for me in this life. There's no path for me. I've got nowhere to go, nowhere to be. Nowhere am I needed.
Then you came along. You lead me in the right direction, and I hope you'll follow me there. <3 Without you, I'd be lost on a dusty, ol' road, walking in the same footsteps once again - with nowhere to go.

Next time

It'll be better this time. I hope.
I'm looking very much forward to being with you. It'll be nice getting to be with someone for a change. Having a friend - at last.

You're my best friend - no doubt about it ! You've been there for me as noone ever has from the day I met you, and you've always had a way to make me smile - even when I was crying.
Though you're not actually there with me, you've made my mind think you are. You've comforted me in a way I never thought possible!

You're the best person I've ever met, with such a great, kind and warm personality. You've taken me in from the cold, dark, outside. You've patched me up to be a somewhat functional guy again.

I can never thank you enough for all that you've done for me. I don't know how to repay you!
All I can do, is say that I'll forever be there for you, if you ever need someone to talk to, to hold you and wipe your tears from your cheek.
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you!

I won't hide that I've got feelings for you, and you know it. I know you're taken, and I respect that. All I can do is hope that he'll do the right thing this time, and treat you right, and make you the best you can be !

Theres so much I want to say, I want the whole world to know how great of a girl you are - but I can't find the words. You're just....indescribable! I can never thank you enough for the things you've done, but I hope this weekend, I can at least repay you a little bit, and show you a bit more of who I am, and hopefully, I can show you a good time with all my dry jokes :) (<- first smileyface ever posted on this blog - that sais alot about this girl ! She's amazing! )

I love you - for now, only as a friend, but I have a dream that one day, that'll change <3